Does someone you know have a pornography problem?

So where do you turn for help? Hopefully you will find this information helpful!! Today I am posting some resources for both the partner struggling with a sexual addiction, and the afflicted partner. I see many marriages and couples struggle with these issues and many are embarrassed and ashamed and don't know where to turn for help.

Recovery is possible, it takes work and persistence but you can do it with help! Don't expect to recover alone; this is a much bigger problem than you can tackle alone. But with the right help and support you can do it.

 

Pornography has become such an issue because it is anonymous, no one knows you have been viewing it, it is free in the beginning, and it is always available, on your computer or smart phone. We call these the three As, affordable, anonymous, and available. The three As are like a three leg stool, and if you remove one of the legs the stool can no longer stand.

 

If you add a filter or accountability software to your computer it will no longer be anonymous. Here is a link to the website for the accountability and filtering software: http://www.covenanteyes.com/porn-help/?gclid=CMuO-KWhu7oCFes9QgodwBUA3w This software will send a report to someone who can see what websites you have been visiting and will hold you accountable. Here are some additional recommendations and resources for both partners.

Find a professional counselor; many times it is not just about the sex, but underlying issues of control, trauma or experiences in childhood that have caused you to under value yourself. Counseling can help you understand those underlying issues and help you to become a healthier, happier person.

 Attend a 12 Step Recovery Group Meeting. SA.org Sexaholics Anonymous (www.SA.org) is a fellowship of men and women who share their experience, strength, and hope with each other as they recover. SAnon (www.sanon.org) is for friends and family of those afflicted with sexual addictions There are meetings for I would also recommend finding an accountability partner that you can call to talk with when you start to have unwanted thoughts, talk with someone when you start to have those fantasies and urges, before you act out. You need to retrain you brain, and help overcome those impulses.

I recently found this free 6 week online course for the spouse or partner of those afflicted with a pornography or sexual addiction. ADDO is a non-profit organization and can help you understand your behavior and interaction patterns in this relationship.

http://www.addorecovery.com/join/index.html

Here is a link to helpful website with real stories of sexual addiction and recovery from both partners perspectives (husband had a sexual addiction for years and they both tell their stories): http://rhyllrecovery.com/

Websites/Forum’s

www.salifeline.org

www.sanon.org

http://www.hopeandhealinglds.com/forum-for-wives/

rowboatandmarbles.org

Books

What Can I Do About Him Me? by Rhyll Croshaw

Understanding Pornography and Sexual Addiction by S. A. Lifeline Foundation

He Restoreth My Soul by Donald L. Hilton Jr., MD

The S-Anon Blue Book

Love You, Hate the Porn by Mark Chamberlain, Ph.D. and Geoff Steurer, MS., LMFT

Lord I Believe, Help Thou My Unbelief by Rod Jeppson, LPC

Your Sexually Addicted Spouse by Barbara Steffens and Marsha Means

Mending a Shattered Heart by Stefanie Carnes

Heartache to Healing by Colleen Harrison

How Can I Forgive You? The Courage to Forgive, the Freedom Not Toby Janis Abrahams Spring

After the Affair by Janis Abrahams Spring

The Gifts of Imperfection: Let Go of Who You Think You’re Supposed to be and Embrace Who You Are by Brene Brown

Boundaries: When to Say Yes, When to Say No- to Take Control of your Lifeby Henry Cloud & John Townsend

Healing the Shame that Binds You by John Bradshaw

Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself by Melody Beattie